This year, I am honored to be speaking through the SmartTalk Connected Conversations series. I will be joining some amazing women to talk about our lives and work. It is humbling to be included among the likes of actress Diane Keaton, former First Lady Laura Bush, author Elizabeth Gilbert and journalist Lee Woodruff - and honestly, it's nerve wracking.

Public speaking is something I enjoy just as much as acting, and maybe a little more because I can be myself. I’m connecting with people: I have something to say to them and I want to hear what they have to say to me. That said, I still get nervous - it wasn't long ago that I was the "urban hermit" - I was ashamed of the way I looked and I wanted to hide. Just like anyone, I have to overcome my own negative thoughts when I'm about to get up in front of people and talk - whether it's 10 or 100 or 1,200 people. Here are some tricks I use to cope...

1) Don't worry about what other people think: I always try to remember my friend Julie who says, "It's none of your business what other people think of you." Some people will get it; others won't - and you have to focus on the people that will get it and hope the others open up eventually.

2) Be prepared - ALWAYS be prepared: I always read my speech the night before - multiple times - and I always have it right there in front of me. Even if you have help writing it, make sure it's in your own hand and your own voice. My ghostwriter Todd Gold helps me write my speeches, but these are my words. I want people to be their very best selves, and I get to be my very best by pulling that out of them through my words. So I owe it to them to be prepared.

3) Dress for confidence - and success: I get teased about wearing high heels, but I feel prettier in heels and they force me to slow down. I can't do my power walk on stage in heels. So I walk more slowly which calms me mentally and helps me focus. I also love my SPANX foundations - I'm proud to say I went from an extra-large to a small. Even Gwyneth Paltrow wears SPANX and she's a skinny-mini. SPANX are your best friends: They help me when it's that time of the month and I'm feeling heavy. When you're in front of a group, it's hard enough to focus on what you're saying if you're focused on how you look, so wear clothes that make you feel confident.

4) Don't forget to breathe! Looking at the picture on the front page of this site, I can't help but see that my butt is clenched. I had no idea - and you know you checked that link to see. Every woman looks at her butt first, when given the chance, even if we don't want to. Most of the time when you're in front of a group, you don't realize how tense you are. We need to breathe and relax. You're stressed. You're nervous. It happens to me all the time (as you can see). Take a deep breath. Remember to breathe. It will slow down your speech and help release those muscles because we talk faster when we're nervous. 

5) If all else fails, imagine the audience naked: At the Author's Luncheon, I spoke right after A.J. Jacobs, the hilarious author of The Guinea Pig Diaries and The Year of Living Biblically. (I've read it; it's brilliant. Get it!) He had the audience rolling with laughter, so I was very nervous. At the Ultimate Women's Expo, the audience was laughing at my jokes, but speaking after A.J., I felt like I was a little flat, and then I remembered: Don't beat yourself up if you don't get the response you want. Be open, be honest. When worse comes to worst, imagine the audience naked. If nothing else, it will put a smile on your face and smiles are always contagious.